How many really asked themselves, "Can I save my marriage?" The sad truth is that today nearly half of all married couples end in divorce. While this is unfortunate for the partners involved in the marriage, it is far worse for the children who have to deal with split parents for the rest of their lives. Nearly 90 percent of troubled marriages can be saved, but at least one partner has to be willing to make the effort.

When a couple decides a marriage that a marriage is over, it is seldom a process that happens simultaneously. In fact, what usually happens is that one member of the marriage gives up, then eventually wears down the other partner until they both agree that there is simply no way to continue. Most therapists believe that once a marriage has made it to the point where only one person still believes in the union, that the marriage is, for all intents and purposes, over at that point. Even if it takes months or even years for the couple to actually split, nearly all counselors agree that the union is doomed from the time that the first partner abandons hope.

Unfortunately for most troubled marriages, this belief is so widespread that therapists themselves may even inadvertently expedite a divorce by recommending that couples “take some time apart” to let things cool off or trying to help individuals “move on” with their lives. While these counselors have the best interests of their patients at heart, in reality they are doing the worst thing that they could do for those people and their marriages by hastening the separation process. In reality, nearly 90 percent of all troubled marriages can be saved, but sometimes you simply have to take matters into your own hands.

Lee Baucom, a professional marriage counselor with a staggering success rate, explains that sometimes you just have to think of the salvaging process as saving my marriage rather than “saving our marriage.” Once you look at it from the perspective that it is your personal emotional investment rather than a joint effort, you are able to tackle the problem from an entirely different vantage point. As a result, you will be able to address personal and mutual issues in new ways that do not require your partner to do much of anything other than enjoy the new results. It may not be fair, but it works. And in the end, that is what matters for the happiness of everyone involved.

Obviously, at some point, your partner will become involved in the marriage process again. However, the best way to get a fully committed involvement is to make that involvement worthwhile, and sometimes that means you have to take some hard steps on your own first. Don’t do it alone. Lee Baucom can guide you through every step to restoring your marriage to a truly happy status, and you can start tonight. If you believe that you deserve a happy, healthy marriage with the partner of your dreams, then start making that marriage a reality immediately by learning how to save your marriage – and make yourself and your partner happy again – all on your own. While your partner may not realize what is going on at first, eventually he or she will realize what an incredible feat you have accomplished. When they do, they will thank you for your efforts to save your marriage and you will almost certainly find that you have a willing and dedicated team member in your marriage from that time forward.

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